Back when I first started this site I posted about how eventually I am going to encounter some adversity in my life that will make it difficult to continue working out. Whenever this used to happen I would grab hold of that as my excuse for not sticking with my plan and it would be all too easy to just take the path of least resistance and fall back into old habits and patterns. I would never make the conscious decision that I was giving up - I would just allow myself to gradually do so.

This time I see it happening. I’ve been stuck at about 255 for a month now and it’s because I’ve been letting adversity get the best of me. I haven’t completely dropped back to my old patterns, but I’ve been doing it often enough to the point of being back on the wrong path. I am not going to let that happen again. It’s time to really build some discipline and to live hard. With all the crap that had been happening I started drinking again - I had mostly stopped over the last year and I don’t need to start up again. Not that I ever had a problem with it - but I don’t need to drink to deal with my issues and I don’t want to develop that pattern. Plus it’s terrible for you - empty calories, stops your metabolism - just bad in general.

So - the next month is going to be ‘boot camp’ for me. I’m going to be super-strict on myself. Not because I need to be - I generally believe in moderation over anything, but because I want to prove to myself that I can keep focused. I am not going to let this become just another failed attempt to change my life. I’m going to work and live hard and I’m not going to do anything half-assed ever again.

On an unrelated note - I finished my first real painting today. It’s of my dog Ozzy - minus his tail. Next painting will have a real background, I swear.

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